Inside the Mind of a Future Thru Hiker: Why I’m Insane Enough to Hike the AT

Often when I tell people I plan on hiking the AT, the reactions that I get are some variation of “*jaw drops* whaaaat?! You’re crazy! That’s awesome!” This is typically followed by a bombardment of questions, the biggest of all being, “Why?” While I love shrugging and saying “why not” and seeing the reactions to that, here I will attempt to *seriously* answer that pesky question in as much depth as I can.

Reason 1:

I want to see the world, or as much of it as I can. If I never left New England I feel like I would have wasted my time sticking with the same old thing. The AT provides a unique way to see new places and meet new people, and if you ask anyone that I hike with, I don’t shut up about everything I’m excited to experience. Bring on the adventure!

Reason 2:

Simply because I can. I am able bodied and I have a window of time where I’m not tied down by a career or a home or a family. I’ll be damned if I don’t seize this chance and make the absolute most of it that I can. I’m surrounded by people that don’t have the same luxury because they’re focused on other aspects of their lives. Some of them wish they were going with me and can’t. Believe me, I know what it’s like to want something I can’t have. The experience of hiking the AT is not going to become just another one of those things I wish I had done.

Reason 3:

I’m f*cking terrified. That’s right, scared shitless, petrified, shaking at the knees, spooked, horror-stricken, however you want to say it. Being out in the woods ALONE at night actually scares the crap outta me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the outdoors and nature and whatnot. However, it is for that very reason that I want to do this, and do it solo. Honestly, the “alone” part is what scares me more than anything. All my life I’ve had someone else I can depend on when things get tough. Parents, friends, boyfriends, etc. I want to be able to depend on just me. I want the trail to teach me that the only one I need to get me through tough times is me, because that’s all I’ll have out there. I am (hopefully) going to conquer my fears and even enjoy doing it along the way. Oh did I mention I’m also petrified of snakes? I hear there’s some big ones down south. Bring ’em on.

Quite possibly the most terrifying night of my life, my first solo overnight.

Reason 4:

Anyone that knows me knows I love a good challenge. All anyone has to say to me to get something done is “I bet you can’t” and then it’s game on, challenge accepted, let’s go. For example, this weekend I did my third Tough Mudder. Normally I stick with a slow moving group of my friends, but this time I thought, “you know what I think I’ll challenge myself.” I ended up running the full course (11ish miles, 20+ obstacles) in under two hours and was the first woman to finish that day. I started about 15 minutes after the second woman to finish did. Maybe it’s a distance runner thing, but I’m wicked stubborn and I never do anything halfway. The AT is my next big challenge and I am itching to see how much I can accomplish out there.

Coach once said I wouldn’t do well at steeple. Watch me fly now.

So there you have it! Among the multitudes of questions my friends and family have buried me under, here’s the answer(s) to what I felt was the most important one of them all. When I’m out on the trail, I’ll probably be asking myself the same thing, several times a day.

So now you’re young, and you feel alone

Despite friends, family, and all the good things now surrounding you,

You can’t help thinking “Oh there’s gotta be some more to do”

When all the things that you cherish

Turn into burdens then there is

No other path to take,

You know what you’ve gotta do but you don’t know how.

They’ll hold you back, they’ll hold you down

And you kinda feel bad but you know that you’ve gotta get out.

This is your pain your dilemma,

Do you stay in the town where they raised ya?

Or do you sail away,

Pull the anchor and go heading for the come what may?

You have to leave,

Because if you don’t dear,

You’ll never see the things you read about in books,

You saw the films and you were hooked.

But everything you want won’t come to you,

You realize now that you’ve gotta go see this through

-Toh Kay “If Only for Memories”

That face you make when you realize you’re about to be a legit adult.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Queries? Quibbles?  Leave a comment, or shoot me an email at [email protected], I’d love to hear from you!